Thoughts on Turning 40

I have been doing some thinking about life, the universe and everything (so I know the big birthday is actually in two years…) and I decided I would share a few things I have learned on the journey thus far. Some you may recognize. I didn’t come up with any of these in a vacuum.

• Mercy is a better than judgement.
• No one is poor who has friends.
• It is better to leave the job and respect yourself than to endure for the sake of economics.
• Being able to look at yourself in the mirror is more important than what other people think.
• Making people angry for fun isn’t cool.
• Degrees and certificates mean very little. The truly educated continue to learn throughout life and don’t consider their education complete when they earn a piece of paper.
• Degrees and certificates are not bad things, though.
• People are more important than things.
• Helping is more important than hoarding.
• Compassion and love are better than being right.
• Accomplishing anything takes hard work.
• No one accomplishes anything without the help of others.
• The “self-made man” and “rugged individualism” are lies. No one is an island.
• Better to be a clay pot that contains beauty than a whitewashed tomb.
• Learning a new language opens the mind to be able to understand things that are inexpressible in other languages.
• Understanding is worth the pursuit, even though you will never understand everything.
• Conversation is better than coerced acquiescence.
• Listening is more difficult and more rewarding than speaking.
• Reading a lot is vital for anyone who desires to write well.
• Only those who listen and learn may become good teachers.
• Volume has nothing to do with correctness.
• Truth is not relative, but perceptions are. To express truth one must first understand the perceptions of the listener.
• Every culture is different, none are perfect, and all contain some beauty and truth worth absorbing.
• Hating or mistreating someone because of how they look, their accent or language, or where they grew up is dumb.
• Fear destroys more than anything other than pride.
• People will often say and do things while anonymous they would never do if their names were attached.
• Some opinions really are worth more than others and not every opinion is actually valid.
• Knowing which opinions are more valid is rarely easy, so listening to all of them is important.
• It is okay to be wrong if you are teachable because then being wrong doesn’t have to be destructive.
• Very few people are teachable because humility is difficult.
• Anyone who treats a waiter or waitress poorly is not a good person. You can learn a lot about someone by taking them out to lunch.
• Planting a tree to commemorate a big event doesn’t make as much sense as it used to since society is so much more mobile now. Getting a tattoo is a good substitute in those cases.
• Everybody gets grumpy when they are tired and/or hungry. Yelling at them doesn’t help. Feeding them and helping them rest does.
• Politeness is a skill that anyone can learn and says to others that you value them as people.
• It really is okay to do more than your fair share. It teaches others to be generous and starts a trend.